(Warning! This is not a hard and fast character piece but I pray it blesses the 'Faith Dames' family because I see that many of us are still living 'under this curse'.)
There was a season in my life when I had major beef with Adam and Eve. Especially with Eve. And then when I got through vexing with Eve, I faced God. I could not understand his curses over her at all. I mean I could see how making childbirth tough was a punishment (I mean I have survived three after all and women of God, labour is a serious punishment!) but I just could not understand the second part of God's curse over Eve. Listen:
'....Yet, you will long for your husband and he will rule over you' (Genesis 3: 16b)
How is that a curse? Who else was Eve meant to long for? I would ask myself. Another version says 'your desire will be for your husband'. I did not get it. Who else was she meant to desire? I pondered. How was this a punishment? Was God trying to be funny? Ladies, he was not. Trust me. Let me explain.
You see God answered all my pondering in a way I could never forget. He used my own life, my own relationship with my mgm to show me just how horrible a curse this was. For a long time, my husband was my 'god'. I wanted to be ALL that he wanted me to be. Do all that he wanted me to do and act in all the ways he thought I should act. His every wish was my command. Did it make ours the best marriage in the world. Not one bit. For only God deserves that kind of obeisance. And then to make matters worse, I felt that since I was doing ALL that to make him happy, he in turn HAD to make me happy by loving me more than life itself. I mean, here I was doing all these things to make you happy so why are you not loving me like I want. Why don't you want to stay home with me? You put your work, your ambition, your desire to excel above me! Why do you keep hurting me like this? Why don't you get me? I feel so insignificant in your life. Why don't you talk to me like I want? In short, WHY oh why do I still feel so lonely. I long for you to be here with me making me happy!!!!
What was going on?
Your Papa Adam and Mama Eve ate the apple! That's what! And the perfect relationship we were meant to have as men and women went up in flames as the pieces of chomped up apple went down their throats. You see, pre-apple eating, Adam and Eve had a wonderful relationship with God. Their relevance, significance and value was not tied up in each other. No, it was tied up in who they were, INDIVIDUALLY, in God. And because Adam and Even knew who they were in God, they were able to relate with each other in loving, peaceful harmony. Post-apple Adam was busy sweating, too busy ploughing the ground to have time for his wife and Eve was catapulted into a period of longing.
So do you see now how come God condemning Eve to a life long quest of 'longing for her husband' could be a curse? It's because our desire is not meant to be for any man. Our desire, our longing is meant to be for God. Yes, you got it. God is meant to be the object of our longing. It is God that gives us relevance, significance and value. Only God. So if you are single and you still believe that you are not complete because you are not yet married, you are living under Eve's curse. If you are married and are still in a situation where every single comment or action from your mgm causes you to sink into a blue flunk and think that all life is lost (I used to be like that), then you might tell me that God is the controller of your life but you lie. Your hubby is still your 'god'. No man should have that much power over you as to control or drive the way you view your God-given life.
What am I trying to say in all of this. I think Mama Eve has done her own damage. We should let it stop with us. God has placed a divine vacuum in our hearts as women that ONLY He can fill. Until we do that, until we give our lives to Christ for real and make God the object of our desires, we will continue to have issues in our relationships. Like I said, I learnt all of this the hard way. You don't have to. Love God first with all your heart and then let your love for your husband or husband-to-be flow out from that love. Only God can complete you. Only God's love in you can help you love your hubby deeply. Unconditionally. Like He loves you.
And do you realise something about Eve's story. She had no name BEFORE the fall. She was just 'The Woman'. Adam named her AFTER the curses fell.....He named her Eve and guess what Eve means? Life. For she was to be the mother of every living person. Do you know what that says to me? I don't know but without being overly 'spiri' about it all, I just think it means if we have been doing it all wrong up until TODAY. If you have been making some man your God. If you have been seeking your relevance, significance or value from some man. If you have been seeking to fill that hole in your heart trying to please man rather than God Or if you have just been 'eating apples' in disobedience to God.......TODAY, you can drop the apples and turn to God in repentance. He will fix you and his LIFE will burst forth in and over you.
Yes, inspite of this curse, if each of us women take our relationships with God back to the pre-apple eating era in the Garden of Eden, where God was numero uno, then we too can enjoy loving, peaceful and harmonious relationships.
(c)Desperate Naija Woman