...Are you still holding onto your integrity, Curse God and die!
To be honest, I expected Job to strike me, maybe even kill me for the blasphemy I uttered. He has never raised his h and to me but If I had learnt anything from the years I had been his wife, it was that Job loved his God with all of his heart and absolutely nothing came before him. I never had reason to object to this Job’s love for God only made his love for me stronger; but to watch Job sitting in dust like a beggar was more than I could take, why wasn’t he angry?.
Instead of the physical reaction I expected, he slowly turned his head to me and stared at me, his hazel eyes boring into my soul as if searching for something. For a few seconds that felt like a lifetime, he just held my gaze without a word. Finally, maybe after not finding what he was looking for and all of a sudden weary, he gently sighed and said “You talk like a foolish woman. Should we accept only good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?" And with that gentle statement, he withdrew back into himself, mute again.
Don’t think I haven’t heard the rumours?
Some of you think I uttered those words because I hated Job, while others think I did it because I hated God. Oh, lets not forget those who think I said it because I was done with this marriage and according to law the only way I could get out of it was if I became a widow. Ha! Did anyone ever stop to wonder what it must have been like to be me; walk a mile in my shoes? Have you ever woken up in a nightmare that had no end? In one day I lost EVERYTHING I had. I became a poor, barren; hey, I might as well have became a widow because since all this happened, my husband has barely said a handful of words; leaving me to daily fight the sorrow in my heart without a husband to hold me up.
I am sure you heard about Job’s three friends coming by to comfort him; but did you ever hear of anyone coming to comfort me? I was alone...to bear the pain and sorrow. How quick we are to judge each other; why is it easier to tear me down than to try and understand me. I am sure I am not the only woman in this room who has uttered foolishness in haste be it from anger, pain or emotions. I am not trying to justify my sins, I just want you to see my side... to step out of your comfortable shoes and walk a day in mine.